a stroke survivor story

On Tuesday of this week, I finished another major milestone in my progress; I graduated with my certification of one unit of Clinical Pastoral Education. The class consisted of 17 weeks of instruction (8 classroom hours every Monday), 24 hours a month of on-call chaplaincy at Methodist Medical center (8pm-8am one day during the week, and 8am to 8pm on one weekend) each month, January - May, and then 300 total hours of clinical work (fulfilled by my work at St. Croix Hospice). For those of you keeping score, that's 140 hours of classroom work (we met 4 times for a 1 hour individual instruction), 120 hours of on-call work at Methodist Medical center (and, by the way, when we were on call we had to be on location, meaning we had to be at Methodist for the entire 12 hour shift), and 300 hours of supervised clinical visitation. I have already been endorsed by the Converge World Wide for chaplaincy; this is one more requirement down. May is stroke awareness month; I am now 7 1/2 yea...

I was sitting in Knoxville, outside of the Knoxville Dance Academy, waiting for my girls to finish up with their dance classes when I had just a little bit of time to reflect on the last 7+ years since me stroke and all that has happened in my life. My stroke has taken my ability to play basketball as well as I used to (which was not very good...) My stroke has taken my ability to play football as well as I used to (see the above statement...) My stroke has taken much of my energy to be able continue as full time Senior pastor, My stroke has made me take medicine to control eye movements, My stroke has made me start taking medicine at night to help me sleep, My stroke has made me much more of an emotional wreck than I ever was before, My stroke has made it so I laugh, nearly uncontrollably, at the wrong moments, My stroke has made me lose the ability to answer people appropriately at time, My stroke has made me nearly choke on water or tea because of swallowing problems, My ...

I was just reading some of my old posts and have come to this conclusion: only God could possibly do all of things that have happened in my life. Even if we set aside all the "stroke stuff", it is just so improbable that I would be where I am today if God had not intervened in my life. But, this is about the events that have transpired since my stroke; so I will get back to that. So much has happened in the months since I posted last that I feel that I must spend the first few sentences just catching up on where I am now. First, I no longer actively pastor; I told in my last post (which now seems like it was a long time ago...which is because it was) that I had stepped down from full time to part time pastoring. Well, in June, 2015 I stepped down completely and effectively "retired" from Senior Pastor ministry. This was a difficult decision for me; I have known nothing but pastoring for nearly 20 years and now I have to face the reality that it is no longer in m...

As many of you recall, in September I made the decision to step down from full time ministry. This was a big decision for me, because I have not known anything but full time ministry or preparation for full time ministry for over 20 years. Granted, the decision came with a lot of questions in my mind, but I did not let anyone know what those were, except for my wife. When the decision was made and I officially stepped back it lifted a weight off my shoulders, but I still wondered what I was going to do. I am too young to do nothing, but I don't have the stamina to do much since my stroke.  As many of you who have been following my blog for some time recall, I have been working on my second Master's degree, the MDiv. But, I was thinking that I would not be done for at least another semester, or maybe 2. Well, on September 1 I stepped back from full time ministry, and on September 11 I got an email telling me that my degree was conferred. So, I was officially a Seminary gradua...

There are times when God’s work and His timing make absolutely no sense to us. In 2008 when I had my stroke, my family and the church were taken completely by surprise. As the time went on, it was amazing to watch how God used a terrible situation to bring about something that brings Him the greatest glory. God’s provisions in the months after my stroke were absolutely incredible. He has sustained me and my family through some of the most terrible months of our lives. About a year ago, I had mentioned to Laura that there were some things occurring on Sunday mornings and as I interacted with people that might seem to suggest that some of my deficiencies were becoming more evident. What I told her then was that when my deficiencies begin to become almost a distraction, I would know it would be time to step back from full time ministry. Over the next several months, it was communicated to Laura and and myself that I look tired, appear to be having swallowing issues and more diffi...

This has really been an issue for a long time, but it seems to be becoming a little more apparent to my family. Last night we were doing some work around the house and my wife asked me several times if anything was wrong. The first few times I was pretty evasive "Nothing. Just tired. I'm OK." After awhile, and after she had asked a few (probably 6 or 7) more times, I finally had to admit that I seem to be feeling pretty spacey, or distant. It's not blood pressure; after I checked it, it was 147/88 - not bad. I have also had a few episodes of a "swimming" feeling; that is when I am sitting still or lying down and the room seems to be a little wavy - it's not spinning like vertigo, it just is an odd sensation that occurs every now and then. It is not constant, and it had only happened about every 6 months since my stroke, but now it seems to be occurring about once ever other week, or even once a week recently. It is just weird, that's all I know. But,...

I just got confirmation that my new book, How Big is Your God, is available at Tatepublishing.com.