a stroke survivor story

I was just reading some of my old posts and have come to this conclusion: only God could possibly do all of things that have happened in my life. Even if we set aside all the "stroke stuff", it is just so improbable that I would be where I am today if God had not intervened in my life. But, this is about the events that have transpired since my stroke; so I will get back to that. So much has happened in the months since I posted last that I feel that I must spend the first few sentences just catching up on where I am now. First, I no longer actively pastor; I told in my last post (which now seems like it was a long time ago...which is because it was) that I had stepped down from full time to part time pastoring. Well, in June, 2015 I stepped down completely and effectively "retired" from Senior Pastor ministry. This was a difficult decision for me; I have known nothing but pastoring for nearly 20 years and now I have to face the reality that it is no longer in m...

As many of you recall, in September I made the decision to step down from full time ministry. This was a big decision for me, because I have not known anything but full time ministry or preparation for full time ministry for over 20 years. Granted, the decision came with a lot of questions in my mind, but I did not let anyone know what those were, except for my wife. When the decision was made and I officially stepped back it lifted a weight off my shoulders, but I still wondered what I was going to do. I am too young to do nothing, but I don't have the stamina to do much since my stroke.  As many of you who have been following my blog for some time recall, I have been working on my second Master's degree, the MDiv. But, I was thinking that I would not be done for at least another semester, or maybe 2. Well, on September 1 I stepped back from full time ministry, and on September 11 I got an email telling me that my degree was conferred. So, I was officially a Seminary gradua...

There are times when God’s work and His timing make absolutely no sense to us. In 2008 when I had my stroke, my family and the church were taken completely by surprise. As the time went on, it was amazing to watch how God used a terrible situation to bring about something that brings Him the greatest glory. God’s provisions in the months after my stroke were absolutely incredible. He has sustained me and my family through some of the most terrible months of our lives. About a year ago, I had mentioned to Laura that there were some things occurring on Sunday mornings and as I interacted with people that might seem to suggest that some of my deficiencies were becoming more evident. What I told her then was that when my deficiencies begin to become almost a distraction, I would know it would be time to step back from full time ministry. Over the next several months, it was communicated to Laura and and myself that I look tired, appear to be having swallowing issues and more diffi...

This has really been an issue for a long time, but it seems to be becoming a little more apparent to my family. Last night we were doing some work around the house and my wife asked me several times if anything was wrong. The first few times I was pretty evasive "Nothing. Just tired. I'm OK." After awhile, and after she had asked a few (probably 6 or 7) more times, I finally had to admit that I seem to be feeling pretty spacey, or distant. It's not blood pressure; after I checked it, it was 147/88 - not bad. I have also had a few episodes of a "swimming" feeling; that is when I am sitting still or lying down and the room seems to be a little wavy - it's not spinning like vertigo, it just is an odd sensation that occurs every now and then. It is not constant, and it had only happened about every 6 months since my stroke, but now it seems to be occurring about once ever other week, or even once a week recently. It is just weird, that's all I know. But,...

I just got confirmation that my new book, How Big is Your God, is available at Tatepublishing.com.

Admittedly, my posting has been very sporadic of late (oh, who am I kidding, for the last 3 years...) It has been almost 6 years since my stroke (it will be 6 years on December 8, but I am getting waaay ahead of myself), and it seems that some of the side-effects are becoming a little more apparent to others. My wife has had some people comment to her that I seemed to be having problems swallowing during church awhile ago; others have noticed that I look really tired and I have had some tell me that they have noticed that I am having problems with my left leg being weak from time to time. I fell getting out of bed about 6 months ago and wound up with some pretty bad hip pain. When I went to physical therapy, they noticed that ever since my stroke I have changed the way I walk; when I had to relearn  how to walk, I would "kick my left leg out" so that my right leg would not cross over. Over the next 5 years it became second nature to walk with my left leg constantly kicking ou...

The last couple days I have been really, unusual. I don't know exactly how to describe it. I'm tired all the time. No matter how long I sleep at night I never seem to get enough sleep. The last few days I have noticed that my eyes have been acting a little weird. I tried to explain it to someone but it is like I just can't find the words to describe it right. It is worse when I have to change my focus, when I am looking at one thing and then have to change the focus to something else it seems as though it takes just a fraction of a second to refocus. Now, a fraction of a second does not seem bad until you are driving; then it can be pretty problematic. I also noticed that I seem to get a little dizzy when I stand up. It is not something that really bothers me, but it is a little irritating. It is not bad enough that I think "Oh, no, not this again." But it is something I notice. I don't know, perhaps it is because tomorrow will be the 2 year anniversary of the...