There are some problems that a stroke survivor faces that some people (even doctors) do not seem to be able to grasp. I have been to physical therapists, neurologists, speech therapists and psychologists and none of them (at least on the surface of what they say) seem to really get the fact that there are real problems that we face on a daily basis (some days are worse than others) that are not physical. Some people reading my blog will understand exactly what I am saying: there is a "spacey" feeling that cannot really be quantified. That is, it is hard to put into words and almost impossible to describe but it is a real problem. Sometimes when I wake up I just have a "far away" feeling that cannot really be explained, but when that feeling is there it is hard to concentrate, it is hard to find the right words to communicate clearly and it is hard to get my thoughts together. Are there physical problems? Sometimes (when that "spacey" feeling is at its worst, my leg also seems weaker and I seem to struggle with my balance more). But, the problem is not always physical but it is just a feeling. If I sound as if I am griping, ok, I probably am; but, I just want to communicate to people that just because a stroke survivor looks great, there might be problems that no one else can see.
The last couple days I have been really, unusual. I don't know exactly how to describe it. I'm tired all the time. No matter how long I sleep at night I never seem to get enough sleep. The last few days I have noticed that my eyes have been acting a little weird. I tried to explain it to someone but it is like I just can't find the words to describe it right. It is worse when I have to change my focus, when I am looking at one thing and then have to change the focus to something else it seems as though it takes just a fraction of a second to refocus. Now, a fraction of a second does not seem bad until you are driving; then it can be pretty problematic. I also noticed that I seem to get a little dizzy when I stand up. It is not something that really bothers me, but it is a little irritating. It is not bad enough that I think "Oh, no, not this again." But it is something I notice. I don't know, perhaps it is because tomorrow will be the 2 year anniversary of the