Before I begin, let me say that compared to the alternative, I would choose this life; however, I must be honest enough to say how much I hate my "new" existence. 8 out of 10 days, it seems that I have no noticeable problems. But, the 1 or 2 days when I do have problems: look out! The last couple days, for example, I have been ready for bed by 5:30. My wife does not get home from work until 5...so we have had exactly :30 of good time. After that I am not worth anything: I am tired, I am spacey, I am weak; to make it short, I feel sorry for Laura. I know that she just wants to spend time as a family, but I get tired so easily anymore. I know that I can do some things to prevent this feeling: I can just rest more during the day. Well, that is easier said than done. This morning, for example, I woke up at 4:00 and then could not get back to sleep. So, I just stayed up. When it came time to sleep, I just could not force myself to sleep. I wound up not getting to sleep until 4:oo p.m...and now here it is, 7:30, and I am ready for bed again! Please understand, I am extremely thankful for life and I really believe that I am better than I deserve; but, sometimes you just need to vent. Thanks for letting me vent a little!
On December 8, 2008, my life changed forever. I had a double sided cerebellar stroke with 2 brain stem compressions. It was not until December 10, 40 hours after my stroke, that surgery was finally done to relieve the pressure. Dr. Piper, the neuro-surgeon from Iowa Methodist hospital in Des Moines, told my wife that surgery was nothing more than an attempt to save my life, but that it would not erase the deficiencies as a result of the stroke. Although she admits that she did not really understand what Dr. Piper had just said, my wife, Laura, agreed to the surgery and the care team performed a decrompessive craniotomy, to hopefully relieve the pressure and allow my brain to function somewhat normally. For those who have followed my blog for the last 14+ years, the surgery was successful, I returned to the church and I now live a relatively normal life, although I do have some pretty severe, though not always visible, defieciencies. I really thought that life could not get any worse th