I admit it...I was having a little bit of a pity party yesterday. I have heard many doctors in many hospitals all say the same thing...I will have to change my schedule a little bit because of my stroke. I guess that I REALLY thought that if I tried hard enough I could overcome my situation. Yesterday was the first time, that I can remember, that I paid attention to someone saying that my weakness is not a new situation; it is a new side-effect to the same situation. It seems that the more I try to overcome my situation, the worse my side-effects get. Not that I have to wrap myself in bubble wrap, but I have to slow down a little. I know that I need to; that is not the issue, it was having somone tell me that I HAVE to. I will have to readdress a little about me to really re-do my schedule. I have always given 100% of what I have to my work, and I might have to reserve a little now to keep my health; that is totally different for me. I know that it is a reality and I will do this just like I have done everything before: with all that is in me, but it will require some uncomfortable changes.
The last couple days I have been really, unusual. I don't know exactly how to describe it. I'm tired all the time. No matter how long I sleep at night I never seem to get enough sleep. The last few days I have noticed that my eyes have been acting a little weird. I tried to explain it to someone but it is like I just can't find the words to describe it right. It is worse when I have to change my focus, when I am looking at one thing and then have to change the focus to something else it seems as though it takes just a fraction of a second to refocus. Now, a fraction of a second does not seem bad until you are driving; then it can be pretty problematic. I also noticed that I seem to get a little dizzy when I stand up. It is not something that really bothers me, but it is a little irritating. It is not bad enough that I think "Oh, no, not this again." But it is something I notice. I don't know, perhaps it is because tomorrow will be the 2 year anniversary of the