Since I have seen the stroke specialist, and she seems to think that this was a one and done type of thing, the question for me is, "where do I go from here?" Obviously I want to move on, but I never want to forget from whence God has brought me. Truthfully, I was on death's door. Dr. Benjamin thinks I had less than 2 hours before the swelling got to the point that there could be no more hope. So, again I ask, where do I go now? I am reminded of Paul's words to the church in Corinth in his second letter to them. He said, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. (II Corinthians 1:3-5) The truth is, I want to use my situation to be a blessing to those around me. If one person is encouraged in their faith because of my situation, then it was worth it. I may not want to go through it again, but I don't want to waste it, either. From this point on, this blog will change: it will change from what I am going through to encouragement for anyone that is struggling. You may not have gone through a stroke, but you may be struggling. I will post my feelings from time to time, but the focus of the blog will change from one of "reflection" to one of "helping others". I encourage the ones that have been faithful to read my blog everyday to continue reading it...it may not always give insights into what I am thinking, but I pray that it gives encouragement for your walk.
The last couple days I have been really, unusual. I don't know exactly how to describe it. I'm tired all the time. No matter how long I sleep at night I never seem to get enough sleep. The last few days I have noticed that my eyes have been acting a little weird. I tried to explain it to someone but it is like I just can't find the words to describe it right. It is worse when I have to change my focus, when I am looking at one thing and then have to change the focus to something else it seems as though it takes just a fraction of a second to refocus. Now, a fraction of a second does not seem bad until you are driving; then it can be pretty problematic. I also noticed that I seem to get a little dizzy when I stand up. It is not something that really bothers me, but it is a little irritating. It is not bad enough that I think "Oh, no, not this again." But it is something I notice. I don't know, perhaps it is because tomorrow will be the 2 year anniversary of the
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