Ok, by now most of the regular followers of my blog know that I try, unsuccessfully at times, but I try to keep most of the posts pretty positive. I write about what I did, what I tried, and sucess I had, a Dr. visit that went extremel y well (as all my Dr. visits so far have done). But, this will not be one of those posts. Yesterday was a really interesting day. I would say that as long as I stayed busy, I had a normal day. But, when I was at home, just sitting, I was really down. I can't explain it, I was just a Negative Nelly all day at home. That is not like me. I am usually an Ollie Optimist.
When everyone else is down, I can usually find a reason to be encouraged. But, yesterday I was in the dumps all day at home. I can only guess why: it is because I saw pictures from before my stroke, and I was missing that life. The truth is, my current existence stinks. Oh, I am getting used to it and I am not going to go Postal on someone, but truthfully it stinks. I have to learn almost everything over again. Not how to do it, but what I can or cannot do. Since I have had my "setback" it is worse. My leg hurts when I try to do someting as simple as put my shoes on. If my leg does not hurt, then it is my chest where I fell. My entire left side hurts. My wife and I can only guess that when I passed out, I must have hit the door way first before I hit the ground. So, I have to try everything a new way. Even yesterday while preaching, I had to preach froma chair. I know I should be rejoicing that I was able to perform my job, and I am thankful for that, but it was different, and it was all due to my stroke and the after-effects of that one event.
When everyone else is down, I can usually find a reason to be encouraged. But, yesterday I was in the dumps all day at home. I can only guess why: it is because I saw pictures from before my stroke, and I was missing that life. The truth is, my current existence stinks. Oh, I am getting used to it and I am not going to go Postal on someone, but truthfully it stinks. I have to learn almost everything over again. Not how to do it, but what I can or cannot do. Since I have had my "setback" it is worse. My leg hurts when I try to do someting as simple as put my shoes on. If my leg does not hurt, then it is my chest where I fell. My entire left side hurts. My wife and I can only guess that when I passed out, I must have hit the door way first before I hit the ground. So, I have to try everything a new way. Even yesterday while preaching, I had to preach froma chair. I know I should be rejoicing that I was able to perform my job, and I am thankful for that, but it was different, and it was all due to my stroke and the after-effects of that one event.
Now, I am feeling better today. Maybe I was just tired and needed to sleep; maybe I have to be busy and I am facing a new week; maybe my appointment tomorrow is coming quickly and I am excited about it...regardless, I feel better today. I will feel best when I am DONE with Drs. and I can finally get back to feeling better.
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