Skip to main content

Okay, so i've had a little time to think about things...

I know that my previous post was pretty depressing. I admit that, it was how I was feeling at the time, but it was depressing. I guess I was letting what the Dr. said today get me down. I know from a head knowledge standpoint that no one knows what happened to me. I get that. I guess that hearing the Dr. being so frank today did not do me well. Maybe it was good for me to hear a Dr. be frank with me. But, I said all this for this reason: I let it get me down. There will come times when I get down, and I know that and am ready for it, but I should understand that it is coming and not be surprised when those moments come.

The truth is that my life will, probably, never be the same again. I realize that and have come to grips with that. Every detail of my new life is viewed in the realm of that one event. The truth is that, no matter what I say, I will always be a stroke survivor. I don't have to live like one, but I am one. What I don't want and will not give in to is the temptation to let the one event dictate the rest of my life. I will slow down because it is good for  me, not because of my situation. I will spread around responsibilities because I should, not because of the situation I am in currently.  Everything I do will be because it is the right thing, not because of my situation, because I refuse to allow my situation to dictate the rest of my life.

Now, that does not mean that I am forgetting the stroke, I am just not going to allow my situation to determine what I can or cannot do. For the rest of my life I am going to be a stroke survivor, but I refuse to live like one.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sometimes my new life stinks...

For the last few weeks I have been experiencing some pretty terrible headaches; not the kind that you can relieve by rubbing your temples or taking Tylenol, but headaches that radiate from the back of my head. It seems as though I have tried several things to relieve them: taking naps, lying down on heating pads, taking Tylenol, turning the lights of, etc. but nothing seems to help. Now, I don't have them all the time, only a few days a week and I can tell that they are more from muscle tightness than anything else. I have been instructed to go the ER if they flare up again, because of my past history of headaches before my stroke, but most likely it is due to the muscles that were cut in the back of my head for the Craniotomy. I would say that most days I do not struggle with headaches at all; but, the days I do have headaches they are a doozy. I don't have blurred vision with them or sensitivity to light or sound; it just hurts. As I look back over the past 3+ years I realize...
8 comments
Read more

A little lethargic the last couple of days....

The last couple days I have been really, unusual. I don't know exactly how to describe it. I'm tired all the time. No matter how long I sleep at night I never seem to get enough sleep. The last few days I have noticed that my eyes have been acting a little weird. I tried to explain it to someone but it is like I just can't find the words to describe it right. It is worse when I have to change my focus, when I am looking at one thing and then have to change the focus to something else it seems as though it takes just a fraction of a second to refocus. Now, a fraction of a second does not seem bad until you are driving; then it can be pretty problematic. I also noticed that I seem to get a little dizzy when I stand up. It is not something that really bothers me, but it is a little irritating. It is not bad enough that I think "Oh, no, not this again." But it is something I notice. I don't know, perhaps it is because tomorrow will be the 2 year anniversary of the...
5 comments
Read more

There are just some things I still cannot get used to...

The other day when I was exercising (I try to exercise every day to keep my cholesterol down), I had a very interesting experience. I wish I could say that this was a unique experience, but it has happened a few times over the last couple years. In the middle of my exercise routine, my legs started to get weak, my heart started racing, my breath was rapid and I had to lie down to get my strength back. The first time it happened, I was really worried about it and went to the doctor. It has only happened 2 or 3 times in the last 2 1/2 years, so it is not a regular occurrence, but it worries me when it does happen. The first time I went to the doctor, he did not seem to be alarmed because the "stuff" stopped happening after a few minutes. I am not sure if it does happen again if I should go to the ER? Any thoughts?
5 comments
Read more