Skip to main content

I had a different experience at the VA today...

If you have been following my blog for awhile, you know that I have been talkin a lot (you don't have to agree with me so quickly) about what God has brought me through. Normally I spend the time on my blog talking about what an awesome God we serve and how shocked all the Drs seem to be when I walk into their office. God really is good, but today I had a different experience. Today as I left the VA, I did  not focus on what God brought me through; I focused on the fact that I almost died in the hospital. You know, it does something when you know how close you were to death. I may not have survived the surgery. When you hear someone say that, it means a little; but when the Dr. who performed the surgery prepares your wife for the reality that you may not survive the surgery, it means even more.

Today, I thought about the place my wife came every day for nearly a month; I thought about me lying there, not able to talk, with a ventilator breathing for me. Today, it finally dawned on me how close I came to death; I was on the precipice of death. That really almost happened to me. I attned funerals; I have performed 40+ funerals; I visit people in the hospital on almost a weekly basis; that was me in a hospital bed, and that was my wife and children in the waiting room just waiting for some word from me. I cannot imagine what whent through her mind when she heard the nurses say that I was asking for her. I cannot explain what I am feeling, but it is extreme appreciation for the Drs, for the nurses, for the hospitals, for everyone that came to visit me, for my associate Pastor that took care of things so that I would not worry, for my mom and dad and brothers that drove 600+ miles to be with me, for my family that waited patiently for me in the waiting room, but  most of all (earthly) I am thankful for my wife. For days on end she did not go home to the comfortable room, she sat by my side, in a waiting room, slept in my room, waiting for just a positive word from the Dr. about my condition. I am really grateful and I want everyone to know how grateful I am to everyone. My recovery is not about me alone, I am recovered for and because of the many visitors I had in the hospital.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A stroke survivor's memory is tricky sometimes...

Tomorrow I will preach the funeral for a dear friend of mine. He was the definition of a selfless person. I truly appreciated all that he did, but, when I was meeting with the family on Wednesday a memory came to me suddenly and I was suddenly overcome with emotion. Let me back up a little bit: After my stroke in December, 2008 my license was revoked for obvious reasons and it took me some time and practice before I was able to drive again. I finally got my license back in February, 2009. But, shortly after I got my license back the reality of the severity of my stroke became evident: my stroke had seriously impacted the PONS area of my brain stem, and therefore, a lot of my nerves were negatively impacted. One of the nerves that was damaged was the nerve that controls my eye movements; my left eye would would twitch, at times almost uncontrollably, and that made it really difficult to drive, particularly at night. That brings me to the memory that left me so emotional. Fast forwar

Making a BIG, but somewhat hurtful, decision...

A few years ago I was presented with the opportunity to come back to Stratford, Iowa, to First Baptist church, as their pastor; for those of you who have followed this blog for some time, FBC in Stratford was my first pastorate. Let's just say I prayed about it as I was jumping at the opportunity. The church has a parsonage, so I could live there and not have to worry about a houe payment; and I needed to slow down, and this was a part time position (which, as a side note, allowed for me to get a greater disability from the VA than when I was working full time with St. Croix Hospice...) We love Stratford, and absolutely love the church; the people are wonderful and accepted us, again, with open arms. This was, for me, the perfect position: I get to pastor a church I LOVE, I get to do life with people I LOVE, and I have already had the opportunity to do weddings and baptism services for kids (adults now) that I have known their entire lives. IT IS GREAT. The longer I have been here,

What's it like to live in the brain of a stroke survivor???

First , quit calling us a "victim of a stroke", we are survivors of a stroke; the majority of us have found a way to live, as one professor said, not under our circumstance but above our circumstance! For many of us, we are some of the funniest, loving people you will ever meet. Second , don't expect us to be able to multi-task easily. If a football player tears his ACL, no one expects him to be on the field playing at a high level the next week; most who have suffered a torn ACL never play at a high level again. If a skier breaks his leg, no one expects him to be on the slopes the next week, skiing for gold; most who have broken their leg will never ski at a high level again. If a pitcher has to have Tommy John surgery, no one expects him to be on the mound pitching in game 7 of the World Series the next week; most who have had Tommy John surgery will never pitch at a high level again. What do all of thes have in common? A muscle, tendon or bone was severely injured, a