Skip to main content
I had a minor meltdown last Tuesday. It was the first time I had to grieve my life before my stroke. When you realize that life will probably never be the same again, it is an overwhelming thing. I must have cried for at least 2 hours or more over the possibility that I had a stroke. I could not believe that I had a stroke. I went to the Rec Center every day, I had lowered my Cholesterol, I had lowered my blood pressure. If anyone shoulk NOT have had a stroke, it should ntot have been me. 

It seems now that the part of my brain that they had to take out deals with my ability to deal with emotions. That explains the outburst on Tuesday, my shortness (though I have learned to deal with it) wth my children. Everything has been affected by my stroke. That really is an overwhelming thought. Life as I used to know it will probable never be the same again. These are all small prices to pay considering the alternative, but it is a reality that I have to deal with.

The Speech and memory terapist says that I struggle with short term memory loss (what else is new, though). I can get it back, but it will take some dedication and lots of hard work if I want to get it back. I have already told Laura that I will work as hard as I have to to get back to as close to the way I used to be. I guess that is part of the reason, apart from God, that I have had such a remarkable recovery, because I worked hard. I seldom if ever took a break at Therapy. They would offer it to me, but I would rarely, if ever, take it. zi worled ashard as I had to in order to get home. If you are reading thin and you have somebody in the hospital, I have been on both sides of the hospitl bed. They need to work as hard as they can and when they think they can't work any harder, that is probably because their body wants to, not because they want to themselves. If they want to get home, tell them to work as hard as they can.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Does it get any worse than a stroke? Yes

On December 8, 2008, my life changed forever. I had a double sided cerebellar stroke with 2 brain stem compressions. It was not until December 10, 40 hours after my stroke, that surgery was finally done to relieve the pressure. Dr. Piper, the neuro-surgeon from Iowa Methodist hospital in Des Moines, told my wife that surgery was nothing more than an attempt to save my life, but that it would not erase the deficiencies as a result of the stroke. Although she admits that she did not really understand what Dr. Piper had just said, my wife, Laura, agreed to the surgery and the care team performed a decrompessive craniotomy, to hopefully relieve the pressure and allow my brain to function somewhat normally. For those who have followed my blog for the last 14+ years, the surgery was successful, I returned to the church and I now live a relatively normal life, although I do have some pretty severe, though not always visible, defieciencies. I really thought that life could not get any worse th
Post a Comment
Read more

Sometimes I forget...and sometimes I just have a problem putting words together

It has been almost 15 years since my stroke, so you would think that, by now, I would be readily prepared for everything that life can throw my way; but, I often forget what it's like to have a simple head cold after my stroke. Now, understand, I am not suggesting that other people don't feel bad when they have a cold; it is just that it is different for a stroke survivor. Maybe some of the other stroke survivors feel the same way: many times when I get a head cold with the congestion, suffy nose, fever, etc., it begins to feel like I'm having a stroke again. For those who don't know what this is like, let me try to explain. I get up at night, whether to go to the bathroom or some other reason, and I feel completely disoriented for a few seconds. Not like I'm groggy, but that I feel the room is spinning, I can't tell which direction I am going, I forget where the bathroom is for an instant, things like that. On the first day of this last cold, I was going down
Post a Comment
Read more

A little lethargic the last couple of days....

The last couple days I have been really, unusual. I don't know exactly how to describe it. I'm tired all the time. No matter how long I sleep at night I never seem to get enough sleep. The last few days I have noticed that my eyes have been acting a little weird. I tried to explain it to someone but it is like I just can't find the words to describe it right. It is worse when I have to change my focus, when I am looking at one thing and then have to change the focus to something else it seems as though it takes just a fraction of a second to refocus. Now, a fraction of a second does not seem bad until you are driving; then it can be pretty problematic. I also noticed that I seem to get a little dizzy when I stand up. It is not something that really bothers me, but it is a little irritating. It is not bad enough that I think "Oh, no, not this again." But it is something I notice. I don't know, perhaps it is because tomorrow will be the 2 year anniversary of the
5 comments
Read more