Skip to main content
I had a minor meltdown last Tuesday. It was the first time I had to grieve my life before my stroke. When you realize that life will probably never be the same again, it is an overwhelming thing. I must have cried for at least 2 hours or more over the possibility that I had a stroke. I could not believe that I had a stroke. I went to the Rec Center every day, I had lowered my Cholesterol, I had lowered my blood pressure. If anyone shoulk NOT have had a stroke, it should ntot have been me. 

It seems now that the part of my brain that they had to take out deals with my ability to deal with emotions. That explains the outburst on Tuesday, my shortness (though I have learned to deal with it) wth my children. Everything has been affected by my stroke. That really is an overwhelming thought. Life as I used to know it will probable never be the same again. These are all small prices to pay considering the alternative, but it is a reality that I have to deal with.

The Speech and memory terapist says that I struggle with short term memory loss (what else is new, though). I can get it back, but it will take some dedication and lots of hard work if I want to get it back. I have already told Laura that I will work as hard as I have to to get back to as close to the way I used to be. I guess that is part of the reason, apart from God, that I have had such a remarkable recovery, because I worked hard. I seldom if ever took a break at Therapy. They would offer it to me, but I would rarely, if ever, take it. zi worled ashard as I had to in order to get home. If you are reading thin and you have somebody in the hospital, I have been on both sides of the hospitl bed. They need to work as hard as they can and when they think they can't work any harder, that is probably because their body wants to, not because they want to themselves. If they want to get home, tell them to work as hard as they can.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Making a BIG, but somewhat hurtful, decision...

A few years ago I was presented with the opportunity to come back to Stratford, Iowa, to First Baptist church, as their pastor; for those of you who have followed this blog for some time, FBC in Stratford was my first pastorate. Let's just say I prayed about it as I was jumping at the opportunity. The church has a parsonage, so I could live there and not have to worry about a houe payment; and I needed to slow down, and this was a part time position (which, as a side note, allowed for me to get a greater disability from the VA than when I was working full time with St. Croix Hospice...) We love Stratford, and absolutely love the church; the people are wonderful and accepted us, again, with open arms. This was, for me, the perfect position: I get to pastor a church I LOVE, I get to do life with people I LOVE, and I have already had the opportunity to do weddings and baptism services for kids (adults now) that I have known their entire lives. IT IS GREAT. The longer I have been here,

A stroke survivor's memory is tricky sometimes...

Tomorrow I will preach the funeral for a dear friend of mine. He was the definition of a selfless person. I truly appreciated all that he did, but, when I was meeting with the family on Wednesday a memory came to me suddenly and I was suddenly overcome with emotion. Let me back up a little bit: After my stroke in December, 2008 my license was revoked for obvious reasons and it took me some time and practice before I was able to drive again. I finally got my license back in February, 2009. But, shortly after I got my license back the reality of the severity of my stroke became evident: my stroke had seriously impacted the PONS area of my brain stem, and therefore, a lot of my nerves were negatively impacted. One of the nerves that was damaged was the nerve that controls my eye movements; my left eye would would twitch, at times almost uncontrollably, and that made it really difficult to drive, particularly at night. That brings me to the memory that left me so emotional. Fast forwar

It's been a long time...but here I am back in Stratford

It has been nearly 6 years since I have updated this blog; my apologies. For those that had been following for some time, since I last posted: I stepped down as Senior Pastor at New Covenant church in Knoxville, I moved to Ankeny, Iowa, started a new ministry with St. Croix hospice as Chaplain. I was chaplain with St. Croix for about 4 1/2 years, then in 2020 I moved back to Stratford to pastor First Baptist church. It was a big change going from chaplain work back to the pastorate.  I must confess, when I first came (back) to Stratford I was ready to pastor again! I love preaching; I love the ministry of being a pastor, and I love interacting with people long-term. (Being a chaplain is great, but you only interact with a family for a week or so, for some a little longer, but there was a constant upheaval of people and it was exhausting at times...) But, one thing that I have noticed since my stroke is that I get my feeling hurt easily. For instance, people leave the church all the tim