Skip to main content

I am going to bare my heart a little...

Ok, I know that men are not supposed to do this, but I am going to do it anyway. I feel like everyone is having to rearrange their lives around this one event. I know they are glad to do it, but it is not what I would like to happen. I need rides everywhere, I know, but I don't want everyone to re-do their schedule for me. It happens more than you might think. I don't know if I will be able to stay at someone's house because there is always something to maneuver around. They would be perfectly willing to tell everyone to move the obstacles, but then they would be altering their life for me. I don't want that, even though they are glad to do it. No matter what I do, someone has to take my hand or be with me. If I go downstairs, it can only be if someone is downstairs already (although I went downstairs yesterday. I don't think my wife knew it...) I cannot even go to work, only 2 1/2 blocks away, by myself. Someone either has to take me or someone has to come pick me up. 

Everything I do is predicated upon someone else rearranging their schedule. Now, again I will say, they are glad to do it and for that I am glad, but I just wish that they would think about things from my perspective a little. I am glad they wre willing, but I don't want them to go out of their way for  me. I am supposed to preach this Sunday, and I wonder if it will be normal because every time I get CLOSE to the edge, I betcha someone will be on me to get back. It seems interesting that on one hand the Drs. want me to get back to as normal a schedule as possible, but I am not allowed. I know, I know, it has not even been 6 weeks since my surgery so people are  just adjusting to my situation. I appreciate all of the people willing to give of themselves for me. I just wish this (my stroke) had not happened to me. I wish that I could live a life that is normal without everyone adjusting their lives for me. But, I guess, this is a small price to pay considering the alternative.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sometimes my new life stinks...

For the last few weeks I have been experiencing some pretty terrible headaches; not the kind that you can relieve by rubbing your temples or taking Tylenol, but headaches that radiate from the back of my head. It seems as though I have tried several things to relieve them: taking naps, lying down on heating pads, taking Tylenol, turning the lights of, etc. but nothing seems to help. Now, I don't have them all the time, only a few days a week and I can tell that they are more from muscle tightness than anything else. I have been instructed to go the ER if they flare up again, because of my past history of headaches before my stroke, but most likely it is due to the muscles that were cut in the back of my head for the Craniotomy. I would say that most days I do not struggle with headaches at all; but, the days I do have headaches they are a doozy. I don't have blurred vision with them or sensitivity to light or sound; it just hurts. As I look back over the past 3+ years I realize...
8 comments
Read more

There are just some things I still cannot get used to...

The other day when I was exercising (I try to exercise every day to keep my cholesterol down), I had a very interesting experience. I wish I could say that this was a unique experience, but it has happened a few times over the last couple years. In the middle of my exercise routine, my legs started to get weak, my heart started racing, my breath was rapid and I had to lie down to get my strength back. The first time it happened, I was really worried about it and went to the doctor. It has only happened 2 or 3 times in the last 2 1/2 years, so it is not a regular occurrence, but it worries me when it does happen. The first time I went to the doctor, he did not seem to be alarmed because the "stuff" stopped happening after a few minutes. I am not sure if it does happen again if I should go to the ER? Any thoughts?
5 comments
Read more

A little lethargic the last couple of days....

The last couple days I have been really, unusual. I don't know exactly how to describe it. I'm tired all the time. No matter how long I sleep at night I never seem to get enough sleep. The last few days I have noticed that my eyes have been acting a little weird. I tried to explain it to someone but it is like I just can't find the words to describe it right. It is worse when I have to change my focus, when I am looking at one thing and then have to change the focus to something else it seems as though it takes just a fraction of a second to refocus. Now, a fraction of a second does not seem bad until you are driving; then it can be pretty problematic. I also noticed that I seem to get a little dizzy when I stand up. It is not something that really bothers me, but it is a little irritating. It is not bad enough that I think "Oh, no, not this again." But it is something I notice. I don't know, perhaps it is because tomorrow will be the 2 year anniversary of the...
5 comments
Read more